I was chatting with a close friend on the shuttle bus to our recent conference. It turned out that we were on similar journeys. We both said that we were looking very forward to the conference but also dreaded all the questions “How are you?” or “How’s the ministry going?” My friend said that he expected it would be a great conference if we survived. Well we survived! And it was a great conference. People met us with compassion and understanding. I came as a total wreck but left as only half a wreck. The worship experience was of the intense nature that I have only experienced with my Threshold Ministries family. I left feeling quite hopeful.
After the conference we had a bit of time with family and then visited friends in Toronto. I had lunch with a long-time friend who reminded me that our journeys are not linear, by this he meant not to expect that I was ‘over’ my wrecked-ness. He proved prophetic as I felt the waves of despondency crash over me again since, but I hold on with renewed hope. I find myself asking myself, like David, “Why so downcast oh my soul?” Over the last month I have experienced tremendous compassion, forgiveness and blessing but I still am badly bruised and I believe it will take time to heal.
I am writing from Pearson airport in Toronto and heading home. I am looking forward to meeting with my friends again for prayer. Because Community Chaplaincy is so precarious financially and because I do not know if I’ll be able to return, I will be taking time to seek the possibility of pioneering a new ministry in Saint John. Threshold Ministries has a ‘franchise’ ministry “Street Hope which has several expressions across Canada. I am thinking that my Monday – Friday prayer partners and I might begin our own Saint John version. I have been encouraged in many ways including financially (quite unexpectedly and miraculously) to seriously explore this idea. If any readers think they have insight or encouragement about this or would like specific information about this possibility, please let me know.
Linda and I went to an Anglican convent for a communion service this week. Life has become less about doing for me and more about being so this seemed like a tremendous opportunity to be among the contemplative. As it turns out there was quite a crowd as the diocese was holding a discernment process for ordination candidates at the same venue. It was good to communion with these folks who like me are seeking God’s will for their lives. While he may seem silent at times I am reassured that He remains the God of Revelation.