I always have wondered about Elijah. One moment he is used of God to best the prophets of Baal at Carmel and seemingly the next he is utterly broken and relying on ravens to be fed. How amazingly human he is and how powerful and compassionate is our God!
I have been writing about some of the marvellous things I have been honoured to see God do, in peoples’ lives. At the same time I feel as broken as a North Korean rocket. Paul writes that we wrestle not against flesh and blood but against principalities and powers. For months now I have been wrestling and I am exhausted. A little over a week ago, as I was in this state of physical and emotional exhaustion, I was physically assaulted by a very angry client. This and the lack of support I felt from others on staff was the straw and I was the camel’s back. Since then I had my doctor’s appointment and was told to be off work until July 25th for health reasons. My current plan is to continue my volunteer ministries with Up Town and Community 113 while taking time from Community Chaplaincy. I am not sure yet what all this will mean financially and otherwise but I must now concentrate on my health. This means that I will be spending a lot of time (which I now have in abundance) in study and in prayer.
I was reading about an interview with Mother Theresa. The interviewer was asking about her prayer life. “What do you say to God?” to which she replied “Nothing much, mostly I listen.” “And what does God say to you?” “Nothing much, mostly He listens” This makes me think of a little child, perhaps a hurting one, who crawls into dad’s lap for comfort. Neither speaks but so much is communicated as they simply cling to one another. This is the prayer I am engaging in lately. We have all read the poem “Foot Prints” which reminds us that, unknown to us, we were being carried. I want to take this a step further and intentionally and knowingly, let God hold and carry me.
I went and visited a wise older gentleman yesterday. We prayed together and he gave me a book “Plan of God” by Oswald Sanders. He spoke about real health issues he had a few years ago when he nearly died. He said he wouldn’t have missed that experience for the entire world. I was reminded of my struggles after my fall a few years back. The lessons I learned and the love I experienced make me feel the same way. No doubt sometime in future I will feel the same about this, but that is for another day in the mean time I’ll crawl into His lap. If you care to join me, I know there is room for you.