That was only one day! The week went on to include some great conversations with a wide variety of people. I took a trip to Springhill Institution and had deep conversations there. I drove a fellow to re-hab. I took another fellow, who was in his cups, home for breakfast and a shower (He went on to have a sleep in my car for the next few hours while I did work in the chapel.  I had a phone conversation with a guy who will be released to Saint John from Dorchester. I visited Parrtown halfway house and I led an Over Comers program.

It was an action packed week. I think I know a bit of the excitement Caleb felt as he turned to face the fortified cities of Hebron area. The task may be daunting but the potential is great. God calls and God provides! We are particularly praying for volunteers to enter into supportive relationships with ex-offenders and we are praying for funds to continue (and we even dare say advance) our ministry of Community Chaplaincy.

Yesterday I spent the morning with a young woman who had been sexually abused since age three. Several years ago she had lived on the cold streets of Saint John for nearly two years. The streets were safer to her than any place she had yet been! As a result of nearly two years on the streets her health is bad for someone her age. She suffers from terrible arthritis and is in constant physical pain. Usually she copes with all this but occasionally she medicates with rum. Yesterday she ‘was in her cups’ and feeling particularly sad. I met her and we picked up some breakfast and coffee and went home to chat with Linda (my wife). She is nudging slowly toward trusting in Jesus but trust comes exceedingly slowly for her. We listened as she semi-coherently poured out her pain and shame. There was little we could do but feel her pain with her. I have hopes to connect her more and more with the gentle folks of Up Town Church. They are tremendous agents for healing life’s hurts. I know this from firsthand experience.

The other day I met with one of ‘the characters’ of the Saint John street scene. She has long been a fixture. She leads a very addictive life. Several months ago she suffered yet another loss and she is devastated. Feelings of loss and overwhelming grief come in tsunami like waves over her. She came to me crying inconsolably. As someone who sees his role as consoling people from time to time, I do not manage inconsolable very well. I could only say, over and over, “I know.” And feel a sense of her deep wracking grief. She left as sad as when she came and yet she like my other friend was so grateful for my ministry.

I console myself with the promise that “Weeping may tarry in the night but joy comes in the morning.” And “Blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted.” My heart does indeed break for these women and in that I know the fellowship of my Saviour but more than that I know his healing as He gently reminds me that the position of saviour has already been filled. He does not want me to carry burdens which he has already carried to Calvary. I don’t know how people get through life without Him!

In this ‘veil of tears’ we mourn but only until morn. We work as agents of the Consolation of Israel and recommend Him to a hurting world but one day that new day will dawn. The Sun of Righteousness will arise with healing in his wings.”

We asked if it was possible to extinguish that thought immediately (this is becoming a favourite word of mine as I study the Gospel of Mark). We remembered Luke 1:37 “For nothing will be impossible with God.” And Paul’s admonition  to “… take every thought captive” This all ended up in a study of the Armor of God as a means by which God enables us to take thoughts captive and deal with temptation immediately.

You will note that the six pieces of armor are divided into two groups. The first three pieces are mentioned in a past tense “having put on”. We are not so much called to do something with these as to recall that they are ours by virtue of our relationship with God through our Saviour, Jesus. The truth that we are God’s beloved children, that we are free and forgiven is protection against any lying temptation. One of the guy’s said, “So when temptation comes knocking I should let Jesus answer the door!”

The second division of armour has to do with our active (junior) partnership with God in meeting temptation. By faith we say to the lie “That may have been true once but now I am a child of God, I find my value in Him and one day I will live with Him forever. If I do this immediately the flaming arrows are extinguished quickly and there is no inferno. It sounds simple and it is! This does not mean that it is easy though. It calls us to a level vigilance beyond what we are currently exercising. Like most simple things we simply must rely on God! This is why prayer is so important and prayer for each other so vital.

We realized that we had an advantage because we have a group of people that we can share honestly with and so we have natural prayer support. I am so glad to belong to a group like this that is serious about finding freedom and supporting one another.

On another note I see that our drop in is becoming a more peaceful place and several times a day I have the opportunity to engage in deeper conversations about important and often eternal matters. I was thinking the other day how blessed I am with such conversations. I have lots of friends whose ministry is with traditional churches and they have these invigorating conversations much less than I do. I mentioned this to one of my friends and he said that at least he isn’t faced with the hopelessness that I see daily. I suggested that “the hopelessness I meet is indeed visible but is there really that much less despair in the suburban church he pastors?”

This week I had the chance to engage in a conference call with some other Threshold members. We had a good time of sharing and support, over the miles. I am indeed blessed.

For Levi (Matthew) and M. following Jesus is a radically wonderful thing. Wonderful because of the life and love that Jesus brings and radical because that love changes everything for the good! Jesus followers at our Chapel know that it is a radical thing to follow Jesus in a way that most of my “church” friends do not. We of “church world” are poorer for this lack. We can, we think, follow Jesus without abandoning all that much of our old life. Levi and my friend M. remind us that following Jesus is more wonderfully radical than that! “Love so amazing, so divine, demands my soul, my life, my all.”

This week I went to Westmorland Institution and visited eight guys who hope to be released to our area sometime in future. It was good to make connections with them. I think it takes a bit of the fear out of it for them and we will connect again immediately upon their arrival.

Our Community Chaplaincy Board will be doing some fundraising for the ministry soon. I am starting to visit folks to chat about our financial need. This is not my favourite part of the ministry but I know it is necessary. A friend Ed Coleman is a well-known local artist (Google him!) and he has painted a cityscape with our Chapel in the foreground. In the near future we will be auctioning it off.

James writes about the power of the tongue and compares it to a spark that sets a huge blaze or a small rudder which turns a great ship. There is power in littleness dedicated to God. As I contemplate my relatively new ministry as Community Chaplain I have an image of where I am called to lead it. I am tempted sometimes to come in like a dictator and by dint of brawn and will impose this vision but Victor Hugo and God remind me that my power to change things relies in being a small rudder rather than an oarsman. I need to constantly remind myself that I am in this for the long haul and that over time the tiny rudder has more effect than a fatigued burnt-out rower could ever hope see.

This attitude requires constant attention for I am my own worst enemy. Here to the Bishop is helpful. He says “Let us never fear robbers nor murders. Those are dangers without, petty dangers. Let us fear ourselves. Prejudices are real robbers, vices are the real murderers. The great dangers lie within ourselves. What matters is what threatens our head or our purse? Let us think only of that which threatens our souls.”  Of course Jesus tells us “What does it profit a man to gain the world and lose his own soul?”

I admit that I can be an introspective person (that is probably why I enjoy the discipline of writing a weekly blog.) but I am more and more convinced that such introspection guided by the Holy Spirit is key to fruitful life. It is in this kind of, dare I say Examen, that we find ourselves firmly attached to the vine (Jesus). Abiding in Him without examination of self is tenuous at best and so cannot be fruitful.

God always has the end in mind. People who only look at the ‘now’ question his wisdom but time is moving toward an end that He alone knows. I too want to work from an end and as a small rudder set a course to get there. I may have to do a lot of tacking on the way but I feel the winds of God today!

I meet people all the time who are remorseful. They make and continue to make poor choices. Some of these choices hurt others and all of them hurt my friends. The day after going out on a ‘bender’ or after a bitter fight with a spouse, these folks are tearfully remorseful. I feel sorry for them and commiserate because I know what it is to make poor choices and to have to live with the consequences, but my empathy does not lastingly benefit anyone. Remorse alone is a club with which we beat ourselves unless it leads us on to repentance or metanoia.

This week I had a conversation with a fellow who was in tears. “Why do I never learn?” he asked. He has felt this deep remorse many times before. He was beating himself and I really didn’t want to pile on at that moment. We chatted and prayed that day but the next day I had opportunity to say “You know that question you asked me yesterday about why you never learn?” and we went on to have a conversation about a change of heart that comes from deep repentance. He has a real uphill battle because his apologies and attempts to make amends are viewed quite sceptically. As we meet together we pray and cling to the promises of God. We know that we need to take a long view and not be discouraged by the difficult road in the immediate.

On a personal note, we now have one wedding down with one to go. It was great occasion. For me the best moment was watching my son as he watched his bride come down the aisle. Seeing him reminded me of seeing Linda come down the aisle. I remember thinking that there is nothing I wouldn’t do for her. Unfortunately that was a fleeting resolution because, as my Dad used to say “You could almost write a book” about things I failed to do for her since. But as David looked at Victoria I revisited that moment and gave thanks that though I fall so short of the ideal of love, Jesus totally fulfilled this ‘law of love’. There seem to be a lot of apocalyptic predictions for 2012 but if we can hold onto this unfailing love I believe it can be a great year. I pray it will be for you!

<>< Reed

I meet people all the time who are looking for significance in life, and I realise that significance is not something we acquire, like so many Christmas gifts. It is ours already through God’s design. We, quite simply, affect others! This is built in by our Creator.

Last week I opined a bit about the Incarnation and, as it is the season, I continue with these thoughts. Jesus pitched his tent among us (moved into the neighbourhood) and “we beheld His glory.” This was what Philippians 2 describes, Jesus’ descent into greatness. This one life lived well before the Father has an incalculable influence on the world and eternity.

I don’t want to be like Scrooge (at least in the first part of the movie) and I don’t even want to be like George (a mostly admirable character). No I want to be like Jesus! His humility is, I think, a key quality to emulate. He humbled himself to becoming a single cell in a virgin’s womb, to be laid in a manger wrapped in cloths, and on and on the humility goes.

I believe that it is in this kind of humility that we should live and that not despite but because of humility we have great significance.

Most days I get to spend a few moments with R. He was a successful architect who developed a debilitating mental illness. He suffers from other health issues. R. is the most generous guy I know. He is always quietly helping others. He is one of my greatest encouragers. His is a difficult life well lived.

My Christmas prayer for each of us is that we receive the gift of humility and so follow Jesus example of descent into greatness. May the humble birth of “the Word made flesh” be our model and inspiration so that we too may live lives of true significance.

I am spending a lot of time with people. I hang out with ‘the sinners” quite a bit. I feel quite at home in this group. A lot of this time is spent in the crowds with only moments of personal interaction taking place as ‘grace opportunities’ happen. This week though I have had some great chances for deep one on one conversations. We are experiencing a bus strike here, which disproportionally affects the poor. T. needed a break from a distressing domestic situation so I gave her a drive to her daughters. P. needed to go to the hospital in Moncton for brain surgery and I drove her.  M. is a prodigal story. She hadn’t been home for years. I had the chance to drive her to her mother’s where she will see her favourite aunt she hasn’t seen in years. In each case we shared deeply with one another in ways we just can’t in the crowds. I spent hours with these three wonderful characters instead of spending that time with the multitudes at our drop in at chaplaincy. This week confirmed to me what I had been thinking for some time, that spending time in small groups or one on one must be my priority. This is why “Over Comers” is one of my favourite times of the week. We are a smaller group who are serious about following hard after Jesus and discovering the wholeness that comes from Him alone. We are blessed with a wonderful team of volunteers so that the ministry with the crowds can happen without me, for the most part. In the new year I’ll be seeking more and more opportunities for this type of ministry.

We are celebrating the Incarnation this year with Up Town’s 2^nd Annual Christmas Day Brunch. We mark Jesus’ coming to spend time (dwell among us) by spending time with those for whom there is no room in the inn. I am grateful to Stone Church family who are letting us use the hall even while they will be having their Sunday Service at the same time, in the sanctuary.

Tonight we have a local fiddle group preforming at our drop in. They will be doing a Christmas set. The ladies from All Saints Church are bringing the lunch. A generous donor has provided resources for our Up Town Church family dinner. We usually have stew (Merry Christmas Stew You) but this year we will have pizza delivered. This is a real treat for a group who get a bit tired of Turkey this time of year but rarely have pizza.

I’m sorry I missed last week. I had a touch of flu but I am much better now. Have a blessed Christmas time. <>< Reed

I have also been experiencing a sense of melancholy because I have never and will never experience these same emotions with our son Jamie. Jamie died of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome 29 years ago. I miss him still. It seems that many glad occasions are tinged with a sense of loss. I expect to carry this hurting heart until Jesus comes or I go to Him.

This is the meaning of Advent to me. Advent is the season for people like me, and like you I expect, who have hurting hearts. They ache but they can ache with a real sense of hope, because the Kingdom of God will one day be experienced, by us, in its fullness. Advent calls the hurting heart to look up. We long for that time when the burdens we find so heavy will roll away like Pilgrim’s. Advent is the season when our hurting hearts turn toward Home.

Now we see as through a glass darkly but then…. Ah the joy.

We can so easily miss the hope filled anticipation of this season as we hurry toward Christmas but we do so at our own loss.

As a parent I will experience thousands more joy filled moments but my hurting heart longs for the “joy unspeakable and full of glory.” which accompanies His advent.